Ephesians 5 and Headship

Scan this and tell me if anything strikes you...

I've been thinking about Ephesians 5 for a while now, trying to understand authority and headship and submission. The picture of unity in marriage and in the church is so beautiful, it's really motivating me to develop my understanding of submission in marriage so that I can see the beauty in it. Any theology that isn't beautiful is probably lacking something!

Here are some roughly outlined ideas that have been floating though my head recently.

Mutuality and Submission do not oppose each other
          -both submit their wills to the Lord (neither seeks own good)
          -wives submit to husbands as part of submission to Lord
                    --Order necessitates authority but not force or selfish motives

Gen 3:16 Post-fall, Women desire husbands in place of the Lord
          -Women must address needs for intimacy w/ Lord before w/ husband
          -cf. NT teaching: whatever you set your heart on will rule you

Assumptions/Issues with Idea of Headship
          -Order/Authority assumes men have the power/get to make the decisions
                    --No: both are submitting to Lord's will
                    --Husbands' authority compared with Christ's:
                              -Love
                              -Sacrifice, lay down his life for his wife
                   --Not a Q of power b/c
                              -both make choices (no forced submission),
                              -both guided by fear of Lord and honor for the other
          -Authority indicates importance, competence, value
                    --consider Paul's paradigm of the kingdom
                              -least will be greatest, strength in weakness, life in death
                    --Eph 5      
                              -husbands are called to give up their lives (cf. protection of leaders in their society--stark difference in this explanation of authority)
                              -wives are to be loved (again cf. societal norms, MLee-B)
                    --Jesus
                              -affirmation of calling "woman" to proclaim his resurrection
                              -interactions with woman at well, healing women, etc.
                              -dismisses discussion of 'who will be greatest' in kingdom

*Maybe authority can be viewed as an ordering in which the husband has the role of a 'point person' in a team or partnership.
                    -Husband and wife share same goal: honor/mirror God
                    -Husband's function as head brings order and unity to team
                    -All of wife's skills, input, knowledge, and strength are utilized
                              --Husband should see to this
                    -Wife submits to Husband's authority bc the order is a good thing
                              --Not based on husband's goodness (or his decisions)
                              --Trust in the Lord's working through (imperfect) ppl
                    -Husband has added responsibility as head/'point person'
                              --3x as much said to men as to women in Eph 5
                              --Adam addressed first after sin in garden
                             (--This responsibility is the dragon men want to slay. The honor and love they give women is the value and affirmation--both of self and work/skills--that they need)

Women Made to Help Men
          -Relational capabilities to draw men out of themselves
                    --As we relate better with each other, we relate better with God

Women Fulfilled in Submission
          -Done in fear of Lord, honoring the Lord
          -Shows ultimate trust in God, no need to order life-accept God's order

Practical Questions
          -Can women teach/preach?
                   A--1) Acc. to Judaism it was worthless to teach women Torah
                    --2) 1 Tim 2:11-12 Paul teaches women must receive instruction "quietly," "in quietness." Previous use of this word in the same letter (and elsewhere in NT) denotes an attitude of peace, good order, tranquility. (WMM, 292)
                   --3) Obviously, Paul is assuming that this (new, to them) teaching the women are receiving is sound teaching the church is offering them
                   --4) So it is good to instill in these women a sense of reverence for learning in church, because they are being initiated into a position of access to learning/being taught Scripture (this is appropriate instruction for introducing any believer to learning Scripture)
                  B--1) "Teach" in NT meant more than imparting knowledge, skills; it meant changing the whole life of a person, involving their will--greater sense of authority (varying levels of authority) (WMM, 296-7)
                    --2)"Teach" also had meaning of developing a set of disciples--Paul was quick to stop this in the early church and keep everyone united under Jesus' teaching alone
                    --3) 1 Tim's use of "authentein": a certain kind of authority may be meant here. Possibly women are restricted from a wrong kind of authority or from a usurping of authority, rather than from any sort of authority (as would be involved in simpler understanding of teaching as imparting knowledge)
                    --4) So Paul may have allowed women to "teach" in our sense of the word, though he probably restricted women from: a)enforcing the application of their teaching (teaching the will, as opposed to teaching to instruct/edify) AND/OR b)usurping male authority; teaching in a way where they ceased to submit to the headship of men.

I'm not totally sure about all of that. But I'm surprised I have so much to write out now that I've been thinking about all this stuff for a couple weeks. Since the beginning of the semester really.

All thoughts, reactions, comments welcome. I'm lost in bullet points at the moment...coffee breaks and afternoon walks are saving me from paper-writing insanity! :P